When a man and woman fall in love and get married, why is it the men always end up being the ones to sleep on the couch? Have you ever thought about it? I mean, our society teaches that men and women should be co-equal in everything. They say the wife should not have to submit to her husband and the husband should not have to submit to his wife. Yet we never hear of women sleeping on the couch after a fight. Hmmm?
Well, now that I got that deceptive introduction written out, I’ll tell you that my wife and I didn’t have a fight. Fortunately, God knew what He was doing when He brought us together. We have been married a little over three years and I can’t recall a time when we have had a single argument. The reason I slept on the couch is because we unexpectedly ran out of propane yesterday. Our house is heated with a propane furnace, but our living room has a fireplace. I took it upon myself to sleep on the couch so I could keep the fire going all night to make sure everyone stayed as warm and cozy as possible while we were waiting on the propane truck to arrive this morning.
However, sleeping on the couch did remind me of a lot of married couples I have known who have indeed had arguments resulting in the wife sleeping in her bed while her hubbie sleeps on the sofa. I’m not talking about ungodly couples. I’m talking about Christian couples who should know their Bibles. People who should know it is sinful for a husband and wife to go to bed mad at each other.
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” – Ephesians 4:26
Husband, wife, forgive your mate. Remember what it was about that person that you fell in love with. Ask yourself if whatever your mad about is worth being mad about. Ask yourself if there is something you could have done differently. No, I didn’t say ask yourself what your spouse could have done differently. You. What could you have done differently? What can you ask your spouse to forgive you for? Can you ask for their forgiveness without expecting a reciprocal apology? In other words, if you are truly sorry for something you have done wrong, you won’t apologize expecting one in return. You will apologize for your wrong without worrying about your partner’s wrong.
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” – Colossians 3:19
Husbands, you are supposed to be the head of the home. You are supposed to be the example of Godliness. You are supposed to love your wife. If you look at Ephesians 5:25 you will see that your love for your wife ought to be similar to to the love Christ has for the church. Don’t make foolish decisions with your finances that are going to make it next to impossible for to keep your electricity turned on. Don’t spend more time with your buddies than you spend with your wife. Don’t expect your wife to wait on you hand and foot. Love her! Love her the way you did when you first met her – before you were married. Treat her just like that.
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33
Husbands, not only are you supposed to love your wife like Christ loves the church, but you are supposed to love your wife as much as you love yourself. You wouldn’t intentionally inflict pain upon yourself, so don’t inflict pain upon your wife. You wouldn’t intentionally do things that go against your own desires. Don’t intentionally do things that go against your wife’s desires.
Wives, that same verse says you are to reverence your husbands. The Webster’s 1828 Dictionary says “When quarrels and factions are carried openly, it is a sign that reverence of government is lost.”
Wives are supposed to submit to and reverence their husbands, regardless of what society teaches and regardless of whether or not you think that is the right thing to do. If you tell your husband he is wrong – and do so publicly, that means you have no reverence for your husband. You have lost a Godly characteristic that you are supposed to possess and you are causing problems in your marriage.
Today, if there are problems in your marriage, I urge you to take those problems to the Lord. Ask God what you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Yes, ask God to soften your spouse’s heart, but ask Him to begin the work of rebuilding your marriage through you.